Sometimes by losing a battle you find a new way to win the war
January 2020. I was a recent graduate nurse fresh out of nursing school. I was ready to help patients to get better in our local ER. Then the whole pandemic started. Of course there was no "how-to guide" for it. My coworkers and I faced to a virus that we learned new things each day.. even our seasoned nurses haven't seen anything like this. We did drills... we were ready for how to treat patients with COVID. Each day, we learned something new. Then positive patients started to show in our ER. Was it scary?? I have been asked so many times, how you are not scared? and I was... but I have seen what outside people did not. The moment when we separated family members at the door due to the strict visitation policy. Putting my protective gear on, before I went into a COVID room. Just to be with the patient. Just to provide company, helping with eating. Imagining how scary could be for the patient, laying there, tons of beeping machine around her. Losing their abilites, and energy day by day. I went in as much I could and spent time there. I went into to that patients' room to help each day to help, limited the feeling of alone in the isolation room. I held their hands. Hoping to their stats gets better. Held phones for family members when they said goodbye to their loved ones.
The last few months were a challenge for sure and put unknown obstacles front from us healthcare workers, but each day we overcome in the hope the next day will be better, because sometimes by losing a battle we will find a new way to win the war. I realized how much toll took the pandemic on us on healthcare workers when one of the NYC ER docs committed suicide because she couldn't bear the number of dead people that she seen due to COVID-19.
Having a Peloton bike at home would be such a game-changer for me, between the 12 hours shift I could sneak my workouts in to get stronger. I want to feel better. I want to get stronger. So I could be strong for my patients when they are not.