Running into Self-Acceptance. Healing mental stability after a mid pandamic epileptic episode.
On October 17th, I ran a marathon. No bells and whistles, just me feeling the miles come to me in the form of determination. Everyone in the world has experienced paranoia during the COVID pandemic, I was no exception. It was a long 6 months leading up to the completion of those 26.2 miles. I have nothing to thank for bringing me back to my self, other than the Peloton APP trail. On April 23rd I came into conciousness, laying on my kitchen floor, with my head rested in my long term partners lap. I felt a tear drip onto my face from his, feeling a new, but unfortunantly familar feeling of confusion rush over me. The realization hit me hard, I had a seizure. I was diagnosed with late on set epilepsy in 2018, and this was only the third seizure I've experienced. I luckily survived the first two without futher harm, but this was different. My confusion faded away into neasua and presistent vomitting, while I realized a bump the size of a softball was forming on the back of my head. I went into the ER, was diagnosed with a TBI, and told my brain was bleeding. In the midst of a global pandemic, the last place I wanted to be was in the hospital. Not out of fear of COVID, but fear of using valuable reasources on myself. Luckily I had a supportive team of doctors, for what ended up being two nights while my brain recovered. My epilepsy medication was switched. I was feeling pretty broken when I got home. I work at an alternative school as a behavior specialist that went to remote learning. Nothing was normal. What quickly became normal, was running as an avid APP user. The peloton community got me to a place where I could believe in my once broken self and run a marathon. I know the bike would offer me the chance to fully be a part of this amazing community. I would never be able to afford a bike for myself. It would help me continue my journey to self-acceptance safely. Either way, I'll be running in the Vermont snow with the APP. Thank you for everything Peloton.